Jerry Nixon on Windows: A personal review of some Star Trek swag I have lying around.

Jerry Nixon on Windows

Thursday, September 21, 2017

A personal review of some Star Trek swag I have lying around.

I have a few Star Trek things sitting on my desk, in drawers, or around the house. This isn’t really a review as much as it is an excuse for me to talk about them. This is important since the first episode of Star Trek: Discovery is only 3 days away and I am getting anxious about the whole thing. Don’t think of this as a buyer’s guide as much as me, dreaming up an excuse to talk about Star Trek in anticipation of the new show.

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The Star Trek Enterprise Pizza Cutter

imageFour stars. Received it for Father’s Day and can’t stress enough the high quality of the item. It’s solid, shiny, and quite nice. As a pizza cutter, it does the job with one complaint, the saucer section can get gummed up with sauce. It’s a wonderful play on words, but sort of a pain in the neck to clean. Did I send it back, of course not. And, I store it in the cool black box it came in, not with the carrot peeler and paring knives. It feels special when I get it out.

The Star Trek Cast Paying Cards

imageThree stars. This was an inevitable gift. My nephew gave it to me, actually, buying it at a novelty story when he saw them and thought of me. Good kid. The cards are not Bicycle cards, by which I mean they don’t have the texture or pliability of the industry standard. They are also quite a challenge to scan for number and suit. The pictures are not cast pictures you normally see or might even pick yourself. That being said, they are the deck I take on vacation and we have played many games with them.

The Star Trek Original Commit Blanket

imageFive stars. This beauty was a birthday present from my girls. I adore the Star Trek comics and have tons of them filling the cracks of the couch even now. This blanket is a cute snippet from those comics and is a perfect color, quality, size, and plush. If this blanket has anything going for it, it’s how wonderfully soft it is. I watch episodes of The Big Bank Theory cuddled in this little luxury. The girls might have given it to me, but they tend to find ways to take it for themselves. And, hey, I can’t blame them.

Star Trek Black Command T-Shirt

imageFour stars. I am a fan, but sometimes a graphic T is just too much. A shirt like this fits the bill. Any other fan will immediately recognize the delta and even place the movie this shirt was introduced. My shirt arrived with the delta slightly too far left, it’s supposed to line up with the collar bone. I am not picky enough to send it back, so I kept it and will simply give it four stars here.

Spock Crew Socks with Ears

imageFive stars. Here’s an easy Birthday gift. When I saw these come on sale, I knew it was only a matter of time. My sister-in-law must have a bookmark to Think Geek, because the week before every birthday, a box from them appears at my doorstep. This time, it had the Spock Socks. I was speaking at an event and mentioned I was a fan when a developer in the crowd showed his Trek shirt and asked, “Yeah but are you wearing the shirt?” I was pleased to be able to pull my pants leg and trump him with these beauties.

United Federation of Planets Cuff Links

imageFive stars. Something borrowed, something new, something borrowed, something Star Trek. It’s classic. I didn’t have these when I got married, but had I, these would have made an appearance. They are stunning, and the subtle Star Trek-factor is pretty small. Most people just they they are ornamental and decorative. The astute recognize that they represent an interstellar federal republic of planetary members. The backbone of the Star Trek universe.

Star Trek Comics, Seatbelt Belt

imageFive stars. There are a few things in the collection that really stand out. not only does it depict the comics, which I love, but it’s unusual design makes it really stand out from the crowd. It was my go-to belt for nearly a year until I tired of taking it off in the airport. I travel. This sets off every metal detector.

Star Trek Uno

imageFive Stars. Star Trek Uno is unlike normal Uno. It includes a Beam Me Up card that can get you out of any setup. My girls love it and we’ve played it a thousand times if not two. Uno is already quick, easy and fun – adding a Star Trek theme just makes it even better. We have house rules that let you play a Scotty on a Scotty and a Sulu on a Sulu, etc. It’s a fun variation when your travelling or something. There are actually two versions out there, and we have both. Generally, we prefer the classic version with just the Beam Me Up cards.

The Star Trek Grill Set

imageOne Star. Oh, I wanted this to work. Like most Father’s Days, a Star Trek something-something showed up under the tree (so to speak). Opening this set was a treat, it’s box and presentation is jaw-dropping. But the shape of the flipper, the weak tongs, the awkward fork, only the skewers are nice. When it comes to grilling, I take things seriously and can’t have half-baked equipment. This grilling set is beautiful, but completely useless. For the price, it’s a frustrating reality.

Captain Kirk Grilling Apron

imageFive Stars. If the grill set let me down, it was all made right by the Captain Kirk apron. A birthday present from my wife, this thing does the job of protecting my uniform from splashes, while ensuring would-be Klingons know who’s who. Even though I wish it were a little more thick, I have to say it’s basically just what I want in an apron – if a man has to wear an apron in the first place.

Star Trek Electric Door Chime

imageFive Stars. This little chime sits right outside my office. Pressing the little white button produces the boatswain whistle made commonplace by Star Trek and military movies through the ages. It also has a motion detector, but it takes about 5 minutes before you shut that feature off. It’s beautiful, fun, and an anchor aesthetic to our hallways. Had they made it a wireless intercom, well, that would have been near-nirvana. As it is, I just love it.

Tea Earl Grey Hot Mug

imageFive stars. Nothing kicks off a morning like drinking from an LCARS mug. It turns out that Earl Grey really is the finest hot tea. Most of the people around me certainly assume I say that because of Star Trek, But I really believe it. Drinking Earl Grey from this mug makes it taste even sweeter. If it was good enough for Captain Picard, it is good enough for me. Or something like that. When we clean out our mug collection from time to time, this one is never considered. This one is, special.

TOS Uniform (Science) Bathrobe

imageFive stars. Here’s a classic. I’ve been wearing this beauty for years now. It’s thick and soft and awesome in a million ways. Since you have to wear a bathrobe anyway – like walking out to the hot tub, making Saturday pancakes, or whatever – why not do it in regulation specs? I’ve about work mine out, to be honest, but it’s the perfect Christmas present. Sure, I could have gotten gold/command colors, but this is Spock’s uniform and I like that most.

Star Trek Catan

imageFive Stars. Catan is fun. You might not know that it was made to compete with Monopoly, but rigged so yo don’t endlessly accumulate, working to humiliate your playmates. It’s both strategic and based on luck. We can play for hours and last summer we lost many summer nights to it. If you like Star Trek and you like games, you should do yourself a favor and get Star Trek Catan. It’s fun to build starships and space docks, collect dilithium, and beat your kids.

Conclusion

Could I go on? Of course, but I wont. Do you know how many of my birthdays and Father’s Days have passed just this year? :-) Every one of them introduces a little bit more Star Trek into this house. And when the girls have a birthday, I make sure to tuck something Trek in their stocking, too. (so to speak) And, now, in three days, CBS is giving me a present, and it only costs me $10 a month, for the rest of the year. Could I torrent the episodes? Of course, but I wont. Could I wait and binge the episodes? Of course, but I wont. I love weekly shows. And, I really like Star Trek. It’s a cake and frosting sort of thing, and I am ready. I could even watch it in my bathrobe. Of course, but I wont.